


we can watch the snow fall (forever and ever)

by darlinminds



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Christmas Party, F/M, Fluff, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:56:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28435743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darlinminds/pseuds/darlinminds
Summary: elain prepares herself for what is looking like one of her worst christmases yet. her best friend isn't about to let that happen.
Relationships: Elain Archeron/Azriel
Comments: 1
Kudos: 27





	we can watch the snow fall (forever and ever)

Elain never loved working at the library more than at Christmas time. 

Regularly, she would sit in her chair, a cup of warm tea in hand, watching every other store in Velaris become swarmed with customers. The library maintained its steady lull of regulars, which was calm and familiar and allowed Elain to really embrace the Christmas spirit. 

Now December 23rd, it’s Elains last day at work before her break for Christmas. She’d spent three weeks listening to her two sisters beg her to attend christmas with them - mainly to act as a buffer between them. Initially, she’d been hesitant, wanting to spend Christmas at home with Persephone - her cat, but then Feyre had practically blackmailed her into going with the threat that her sisters hadn’t spent time together in so long. 

So, Elain thinks to herself, scanning a book out for a lovely old lady who regularly compliments her sweaters, she has about 48 hours to mentally prepare for every possible situation on Christmas Day.

“Have a lovely Christmas, ma’am,” Elain says, offering the lady her warmest smile.

“You too, dear,” she responds. 

The lady tucks the book into her bag and motions to the picture on the front desk.

“Will you be spending Christmas with your boyfriend?” She asks, looking at Elain expectantly.

Elain follows her outstretched hand, and immediately feels her face warming. The image she’s indicating to is of her and Azriel, his arm slung over her as he cradles Persephone when she was a kitten. It was taken 2 years ago, the day he moved away, and the last time Elain saw her best friend. 

She chuckles slightly, shaking her head, “no, ma’am, that’s my best friend. He can’t make it home for Christmas.”

“Hmm,” the lady raises her hand to her chin and Elain feels like she may possess more wisdom in her pinky finger than Elain does in her whole body. “Only best friends you say? Shame. You would have beautiful children.”

Elain almost chokes on thin air. The prospect of her and Azriel and children is an unexplored concept, and she’s not about to get into all that now. Instead, she dips her head, as the lady continues on. 

“He’s not coming home? Does he not live locally?”

Elain wraps her fingers in the sleeves of her knitted sweater.

“He’s studying in the Illyrian mountains, ma’am,” she replies. 

Usually, Elain has no bother chatting with customers, they’re friendly and like to know what's going on in someone else’s life. She can’t blame them, Elain also loves to know everything about everyone. She reckons that was a trait picked up from Azriel somewhere along the line. 

But she doesn’t want to talk about Azriel. 

They’ve been apart so long that the pain has evolved into a dull, relentless thing in the pit of her stomach, rather than the initial heartbreak of it all, but it still hurts. The fact he’s not home for yet another Christmas just adds flames to the ever burning fire of Elain trying desperately not to pine after someone that’s supposed to be her best friend. 

“What is he studying?” 

The lady stands to the side as another customer places a couple of books down, which Elain swipes and stamps.

“Uh, astrophysics,” Elain tells her, as she presses the ink into the page. 

“Oh, so he’s a clever one,” the lady raises an eyebrow at her, “you need to catch that one for yourself, dear, before he’s gone.”

With that, she turns and strides out of the library. The door swings for a moment in the bitter winds.

Elain shakes her head slightly, in an attempt to knock the whole strange interaction from her mind. 

Azriel isn’t for her, she knows this. Well, at least that's what she’s been told. He’s away too much, he’s too busy, he never commits to relationships. These things are truthful - another thing Elain knows. But knowing these things doesn’t stop the longing that threatens to overwhelm her every time she looks at his photo. 

xx

As it happens, Elain doesn’t even get the luxury of 48 hours to prepare before visiting her sisters. The moment she gets home from the library, she receives a text from Feyre.

_ Feyre: Hey El, any chance you could come over tomorrow morning? You can stay at ours until boxing day. _

Elain drops onto her couch, sighing. She’s immediately greeted by Persephone, who rubs up against her chin, purring loudly. The cat calms her and prevents her from sending anything too rude back to her sister, who she knows is trying. 

_ Elain: I can’t leave Persephone for that long, Fey, sorry! _

That should get her out of it, she thinks. She rubs Persephone’s forehead, complaining and grumbling about the demands of her siblings and how bad Christmas is about to be. Perse, as usual, meows in mutual understanding and sympathy. Elain’s agreeing with her cat, as her phone pings twice.

“I don’t want to check that Perse,” she sighs, “you want to do it instead?”

_ Meow. _

“Yeah, I didn’t think so.”

She flips her phone over, the lockscreen illuminating. Predictably, one text is from Feyre.

_ Feyre: Feel free to bring Persephone along!  _

Shit. There goes that excuse. 

The other text takes her more by surprise. It’s from Azriel, who usually never has time to text until about 10pm. 

_ Az: I’m sorry I can’t make it for Christmas - heard from Cass you're spending the day with Nesta and Feyre? Oof. Have fun! _

The thing about Azriel’s texts is Elain can always tell the tone of them perfectly. And that ‘Have fun!’ drips with sarcasm. 

She almost doesn’t reply to him, just to piss him off, but decides against it, figuring she should probably dedicate some time to the one person who actually understands her.

_ El: Hilarious, Az. Thank you for your bountiful sympathy. Tried to get out of it by saying I couldn’t leave Perse - so guess who’s cat has been invited to Christmas with the family? Isn’t that brilliant. I am going to require a lot of gin.  _

Azriel continues to playfully irritate Elain all evening with anecdotes of possible things Feyre may have come up with to make the whole experience less painful - and each of them is considerably worse than the last. Elain cannot think of anything worse than trying to play monopoly with her sisters, or Rhys for that matter. 

She resigns herself to a stressful Christmas as she crawls into bed with Persephone, who is beginning to get a bit fed up with her complaining. 

“Night, Perse,” she whispers into the dark.

She receives a halfhearted meow in response. 

xx

The drive to Feyre’s is only 20 minutes, but it takes Elain 45 minutes to load everything into her car, and another 10 minutes to persuade Persephone to get into the cat carrier. She’s a very stubborn cat. 

Persephone spends the first 15 minutes of the drive complaining loudly as Elain drums her fingers on the steering wheel. Of course the traffic’s bad - everyone’s visiting family for Christmas. She’s not too bothered; Elain figures she can be a little late considering she’s travelling a day early. 

After the cat calms down, Elain can finally hear the Christmas music playing through the aux, and it helps boost her festive spirits. She put on her Christmas jumper this morning, and packed a matching one for Persephone when she was in a better mood. 

She pulls up on Feyre’s drive, where Cass’s truck is already parked, and turns to Persephone.

“Let’s be nice. Let’s be nice for our family. We’re not going to annoy Nesta, or get angry at Feyre, we’re just going to have a nice time,” she says deceively.

Those large blue eyes blink back at her in response.

“At least Cassian’s here - he’s always a laugh. And I bet Amren and Mor will have been invited, we like them, so that’s something.”

Elain knows she’s trying to persuade herself of these things. 

She sighs, and opens her car door. Elain gently lifts Persephone out of her carrier, which takes considerably less persuasion than getting her in. She cradles the cat to her chest, and walks up the path to Feyre’s townhouse, which is about double the size of her home.

“We’ll say hi, and then we can get our stuff,” Elain reassures Persephone, who’s more interested in analysing her new surroundings. 

She presses the doorbell, stepping backwards from the door, which is adorned by a large Christmas wreath, clearly made by Feyre. 

The door swings open, and a rush of warm air hits her face. Feyre is standing in the doorway, looking radiant as always, in a dark blue sweater and a pair of jeans. 

“Elain!” Feyre beams at her sister, and Elain feels warmer for coming, because this clearly means a lot to her. 

“Hey, Fey,” she smiles, “I have puddings I made in the car - do you want me to - ?”

Elain motions towards her car, but Feyre shakes her head.

“Come and say hi to everyone first! And let them all meet your beautiful cat - _ hey, Persephone, hey! _ ”

Feyre chuckles as the cat tries to lick her hand. Elain follows her sister inside, taking in the beautiful hallway, leading into the most gorgeous kitchen she might’ve ever seen. There’s a huge christmas tree in the lounge, and Feyre has gone above and beyond with the Christmas decorations. 

Elain stands in the kitchen, Persephone tucked under her arm, listening to the chatter coming from the adjacent room.

“I’ll let everyone know you’re here,” Feyre says, walking ahead, “come on through.”

She glances down at Persephone’s white head, who seems to be completely unbothered at the change of scenery, which gives her more confidence. Elain certainly isn't the most sociable out of her siblings, but having a trusty companion with her helps.

Rounding the corner, she makes her way into the lounge, which is larger than two people could ever need, where Feyre's friends are, and her other sister.

Cassian spots her first - of course - and practically bounces over to engulf her in a hug. Elain returns it enthusiastically, minding not to squish Persephone. Cassian always gives the best hugs. 

“Hey, El,” he says, “I’ve been waiting for you - this lot is boring.”

He whispers the last bit conspiratorially, which is slightly ironic as Elain knows she isn't exactly the life of the party. 

She chuckles, “lovely to see you too, Cas.”

He backs out of the hug, smiling widely. Cassian’s eyes drop to the cat in her arms, and immediately light up. 

“Is this Persephone? Nes showed me photos - can I?” 

He looks like an excited child, and Elain barely hesitates before handing Perse to Cassian, who looks like all his Christmases have come at once.

Nesta is only seconds behind Cassian, holding two flutes of champagne. She rolls her eyes at Cas fawning over the cat and passes a flute to Elain wordlessly, raising an eyebrow that can mean only one thing. 

_ You’ll need it.  _

The sisters hug each other briefly, and Nesta sighs slightly into the hug. Elain gets the impression that the combination of Rhys and Feyre this early in the day may have been a bit stressful for the older girl, who does not get on with the former at all well. 

And just as if he knew Elain was thinking of him, Rhysand appears, as polished as always, standing in front of her.

Nesta rolls her eyes and makes her way over to Mor and Cassian, who are having a brilliant time with Persephone. 

“Elain, it’s nice to see you,” Rhys says, offering her a kiss on either cheek. 

Elain smiles, “thank you very much for inviting me, you have a lovely home.”

Rhys thanks her and wraps his arm around Feyre, who glances up at him with so much adoration Elain feels like she might have to look away.

At the end of the day, Elain’s happy for Feyre. Rhys is lovely to her, and the exact kind of support her sister needs in most situations - support she couldn’t supply for years. But she does understand Nesta’s dislike for their relationship. They are a bit much sometimes. 

“Stop being gross and traumatising poor Elain, she’s only been here 5 minutes!”

Mor is dressed in her stunning trademark red, which she catches only a glimpse of before she’s squeezed in a hug by the girl. Her jewellery clinks together as she embraces Elain.

She spends a few minutes gushing over Mor’s outfit. Elain thinks it's incredible how underdressed Mor can make a person feel at a casual event. 

Elain greets Amren, who is less enthused to see her in true Amren style, but still gets the sense she’s happy she’s there. 

Following the greetings, Cassian suggests they play a game. It sounds like a brilliant idea - it should be a brilliant idea - but this is family board games never end well, Elain has learnt. She shares a glance with Nesta, who seems to have the same thought process. However, Nesta seems to be taking it as a challenge. That’s if the mischievous glint in her eye is anything to go by. 

Elain can tell this is going to be a nightmare the moment an argument begins over which pieces everyone should play. She decides she’ll just play whatever's left over. 

Persephone is enjoying Monopoly a lot more than Elain. She’s curled up on Cassian’s lap, occasionally swishing her tail and sending his money flying. He looks down at the cat disapprovingly every time this happens, but doesnt make any move to remove her. 

Feyre and Mor seem to have collectively decided the way to get through this experience is wine, and Elain thinks they might be onto something. 

The game quickly develops into Nesta and Amren (who have teamed up somewhere along the lines) versus Rhysand (who’s set on building some sort of Monopoly empire). Elain went bankrupt about half an hour ago. 

As she sits back and observes the ever growing chaos, there's an emptiness in her chest. She knows the only other person that would be sharing her exact sentiments about this game would be Azriel. And he’s not here. 

Were Azriel here, they might’ve subtly teamed up and wiped the whole lot of them, just to see their faces. Were Azriel here, he’d be complaining to her about the rapidly escalating anger levels, just as Elain is doing internally. Were Azriel here, Persephone would’ve probably made herself very comfortable on his lap. 

“You okay, El?” 

Mor draws her out of her reverie. Elain nods at her friend.

“She’s just sad Azriel isn’t here,” Feyre smirks menacingly. 

Sometimes, Feyre fits right into the irritating little sister mold. 

“No,” she says indignantly, but then struggles to come up with an alternate excuse. 

Feyre raises an expectant eyebrow at her. Elain’s beginning to think maybe she should allow Nesta to behave however she wants this weekend, if their youngest sister is going to keep this up. 

“I was thinking - I was thinking about the cakes I need to get out of the car.”

Elain thinks that's a perfectly good excuse. Apparently, Feyre doesn’t think so, but Cassian distracts her by offering to help Elain get her stuff. 

“Just ignore Feyre,” Cassian says to her once they’re out of the house.

The two of them walk down the driveway to her car. Persephone has been left inside, napping on the couch. 

Elain hums slightly, flipping her car key in her hand. 

“But you can also admit to missing Azriel, El,” he gently touches his hand to her shoulder, “he is your best friend, and he’s not here, so it’s going to suck a bit.”

She shrugs, “he told me months ago he couldn’t come. I’m totally fine with it.”

Cassian removes his hand from her shoulder and sets to picking up bags from her car. He doesn’t seem totally convinced by her response, but doesn’t push any further. Wordlessly, he carries the bags inside. 

Elain stands at her car for a minute. It’s almost dark, and she can see her breath. 

Suddenly, she’s angry at Azriel for not at least trying to get home for Christmas. She’s spent so long understanding how important his studies are to him that Elain finally just feels a bit exhausted with it all. Deep down she knows he’d make it home if he could. But right at this very moment she’s angry at him for not trying. 

She runs a hand through her hair, and tries to rationalise herself. After all, Elain is the rational sibling. If she can’t control her emotions over Christmas, everything will probably fall apart. 

She takes a deep breath, clutches the cake boxes and forces the car door closed. Pushing all negative thoughts of her best friend aside, Elain, designated people pleaser of her family, strides back towards the house. 

xx

Despite it being Christmas Day, the house is pretty silent. It’s not particularly surprising, considering the drinking that went on well into the early hours of the morning. They’re probably all nursing horrifying headaches. 

Unlike the rest of her family, Elain likes the mornings. She’s always been the early riser of their family. Which also has the shiny title of family tea maker accompanying it. 

She doesn’t mind too much. Making tea is relatively therapeutic, and with the view of the sun rising from Feyre’s kitchen window, she doesn't have much to complain about. 

Persephone winds herself around her ankles as Elain navigates her way around the kitchen, humming along to the soft music playing from her phone. 

She drops the tea off at everybodies respective rooms, and finds herself a nice window nook in the lounge to read in. 

It takes an hour or so for the rest of the family to trickle into the lounge, and by that time Elain has almost finished reading her book. 

Persephone makes sure to welcome everyone, whether they like it or not. 

The last person to arrive is Cassian, at around 11am, and by this time Elain is starving because he said he’d make breakfast. 

Luckily, she doesn't have to do too much complaining, because Nesta does that for her, and her boyfriend quickly sets about making breakfast. Feyre is sitting on the couch, looking like she might fall asleep again, as Rhys and Mor argue over who’s bought the best gifts. It’s a bit of a futile argument, Elain thinks, because they haven’t opened anything yet. 

The breakfast (“it’s definitely brunch,” Mor argues) is delicious, as expected from Cassian’s cooking. Nesta jokes it’s half the reason she keeps him around. 

Feyre’s quick to make the whole family move onto presents, which is accompanied by some Christmas music in the background. Her sister keeps checking her phone every 30 seconds, which Elain notes as strange behaviour for Feyre, but doesn’t bring it up. Usually, Nesta would be the one to call Feyre out for something like that, but she also seems unbothered, instead sharing small, slightly conspiratorial smiles with each other. Also strange behaviour. 

Elain puts it down as general Christmas cheer as she pulls Persephone off of someone else's neatly wrapped present for the eighth time today. 

She receives some lovely books from Feyre, and a knitted sweater from Nesta and lots, and lots of chocolate. Persephone has also been spoilt more than any cat ever should be spoilt, and Elain imagines she will probably spend the rest of the week sleeping. 

After the hours of present opening, those that can cook make their way to the kitchen - of which Cassian is most definitely in charge of today. Elain finds herself on parsnip and carrot duty, whilst Nesta arranges the pigs in blankets. Prepping Christmas dinner under Cassian’s eye is like a military operation. 

“El, we have something for you.”

Elain puts her knife down as Feyre enters the kitchen, Mor looking extremely mischievous behind her. 

She raises an eyebrow at her sister. 

“It’s out the front of the house,” Feyre explains, taking Elain’s arm gently.

Elain throws a concerned look over her shoulder at Nesta, who smirks at her. It does nothing to make her feel any less confused. 

Feyre leads her through the house, Mor and Rhys practically bouncing off the walls with excitement. Feyre shakes her head, chuckling slightly. 

“This isn’t for you two, so calm down,” she jokingly scolds them. Neither of the pair listen. 

Feyre pushes open the front door, and of course Persephone shoots straight out of it. 

“I need to grab her -” Elain starts. 

“She’ll be okay, believe me,” Feyre reassures her. 

  
Now Elain’s even more baffled. How is her cat okay running towards the road?

Still, she tries to trust her sister, and makes her own way through the front door. 

There’s another car parked outside the house. It’s familiar. So familiar. 

Persephone obviously finds it familiar, because she’s disappeared around the other side of it. 

Elain whirls her head around to face Feyre. 

“Fey, that’s -”

She points at the car, and her sister nods, beaming. 

Elain feels the tears prick in her eyes as she turns back to look down the drive.

And there he is. 

Bag in one hand, scooping Persephone off of the floor with the other. 

He’s whispering to the cat, who is clearly meowing in response. She always was more talkative with him. 

Elain starts walking towards him in a daze. 

He notices her as she steps off of the front porch, and his entire face breaks into the most beautiful smile Elain thinks she has ever seen. 

God, she missed that smile. 

She’s definitely crying now, and he looks like he might be on the verge of tears. 

“Hey,” he whispers as he wraps his free arm around her. 

Elain practically collapses into him. 

It’s been so long. 

2 years is so long. 

“Az,” Elain starts to say, but doesn’t get any further with. 

Azriel runs a hand down the back of her hair. He understands. She doesn’t need to say anything. 

“I’m back, El,” he reassures her. 

Elain pulls back from the hug, chuckling slightly at her cat, who was getting slightly squashed, and is now meowing indignantly. 

“It’s good to see you,” she manages. 

Azriel nods, his eyes soft. He looks over her head, presumably at their family behind them.

“I should go say hi,” he says, “coming?”

He offers her his hand, which she takes. It’s warm and large and feels like one of the only things that hasn't changed in the past two years. 

Persephone makes her way back into Elain’s arms as Azriel is engulfed in a hug from his brothers, then the rest of his family. She has to remind herself this is his first time seeing any of them in two years, not just her. 

Everyone makes their way back inside, and Feyre immediately offers everyone a drink. Rhys starts the fire, and each member of the family finds themselves a comfortable spot on one of the couches for what is about to be a two year catchup. 

Predictably, Elain ends up next to Azriel, who she nestles into. The way everything is so comfortable with him is constantly so astounding to her. It’s almost like he never left, the way that they’ve slipped back into their old ways. 

Elain doesn’t take part in the talking. Instead, she leans her head on Azriel’s shoulder, who promptly wraps his arm around her, and lets the warmth and chatter of her family wash over her. 

She’s pulled from her extremely cosy, comfortable spot for Christmas dinner, which she doesn't argue against too much. Christmas dinner is probably Elain’s favourite meal of the year.

Now Azriel’s back, Elain almost feels like half of her soul has returned. She takes part in the jokes and enthusiastic conversation of the dinner, accepting each glass of wine from Mor. 

Nesta smiles at her softly, almost knowingly, but happy and content. Elain smiles back at her sister, very unused to seeing this more vulnerable side of Nesta. She appreciates it though. 

They don’t leave the table for a very long time. Cassian starts singing at some point, to which Amren rolls her eyes, but doesn’t appear to be too bothered by his rowdy behaviour. Elain laughs at her reaction, earning herself a very swift middle finger from Cass. She offers one back, of course. 

“It’s snowing!” Feyre announces, jumping down from the table and running to the window. 

It’s dark outside, but the warm glow of the window light illuminates the ground just enough for the snowflakes to be visible. They’re big snowflakes, and the ground quickly becomes covered in a thin layer. 

Feyre opens the back door, making her way into the back garden, where she stands with her arms wide. It’s the youngest Elain has seen Feyre look in years. 

Rhys joins her, wrapping his arms around her, and burying his face in her hair. 

Every year, Persephone is mesmerised by the snow. Azriel laughs at her little face, so confused and slightly perturbed. Elain feels her stomach warm at the deepness of the noise. 

“C’mon, Perse,” he picks the cat up, “let’s go see the snow.”

He walks into the garden, catching the snowflakes in his hand for Persephone to examine. Elain thinks she might melt just watching the whole interaction. 

“Brrr,” Mor shivers, “I’m going to get more wine.”

“I’ll come,” Nesta says, “I’m not going out there, it’s freezing.”

Elain chuckles lightly at her older sister's comment, but feels an empty tug in her stomach as Cassian presses a kiss to Nesta’s forehead as they walk back into the warmth of the kitchen. 

She closes the back door, not wanting to let anymore of the cold air into the house, and stands on the back porch. 

The snow is heavier now, and the only person she can see in the garden is Azriel. Feyre and Rhys have wandered off to god knows where.

“Are you going to join us?” Azriel asks her, “or did you just miss me for my cat entertaining purposes?”

She rolls her eyes at him, but can’t stop the grin that spreads onto her face. It makes her cheeks ache a little bit, how big she’s smiling. 

Persephone is by Azriel’s feet now. She occasionally lifts a paw to bat at the falling snow, but spends most of her time just looking up at the dark sky. 

“You okay?” He places his arm over her shoulder the moment she’s close enough, as if it’s second nature. 

“Bit cold,” she scrunches up her nose as a snowflake lands on it. “Other than that I’m brilliant.”

“Your nose has gone pink,” Az’s eyes are warm as they skim over her face, making her cheeks heat up.

“That’s because it’s cold.”

Elain folds her arms over her chest. It really is freezing. 

“C’mere.”

Azriel doesn't even give Elain a chance to respond before wrapping his arms around her, burying her face in his chest. 

Suddenly, she’s a lot warmer. Elain moves her face slightly, so it's less squashed, and more resting on his chest, and everything is a lot more comfortable. 

She sighs in contentment, and Azriel chuckles. The movement makes his whole body vibrate, and Elain can hear it reverberate deep in his chest. It might just be one of her favourite sounds in the world. 

“I really missed you, El,” Azriel says as he drops his chin to rest on the top of her head. 

She hums in response, “I missed you too.”

They stand like that for a couple of minutes, the snow collecting on each of their heads. 

Elain looks up at him, just as he moves his head to look down at her. She didn’t think it was possible for him to become any more gorgeous, but the snowflakes in his hair make him look ethereal. 

“What’cha looking at?” Az asks, raising an eyebrow.

She laughs softly, “nothing.”

He doesn’t seem convinced, but in true Azriel nature, will not push it any further. 

“We should go back in,” he says after a while, but makes no effort to move. 

“Okay,” Elain replies. She also doesn’t move.

“There’s snowflakes in your hair,” Az says, lightly taking a piece of Elain’s hair and brushing out the snow. 

“There’s snowflakes in your hair too,” she responds. 

He goes to brush them out, but Elain grabs his wrist.

“They look pretty! Leave them.”

He smiles down at her, his hazel eyes warm and inviting. 

“Okay, as long as they look pretty.”

Azriel takes her hand, and drops a kiss to her forehead.

The action makes Elain’s breath hitch in her throat. 

“Now your cheeks are really pink,” he says, a playful smirk dancing across his lips. 

Elain decides right there and then that he will not win this battle. Summoning up some Christmas and perhaps wine induced courage, Elain stands on her tiptoes and presses a kiss to his lips. 

It’s quick, but soft and gentle. 

Now it’s Azriel’s turn to be stunned. 

She raises a mischievous eyebrow at him. 

“You missed,” she shrugs, and begins to stride up the garden. 

Elain makes it about four steps before two arms grip her around the waist, and she’s lifted into the air. 

“Az!” she screams, as she’s thrown over his shoulder. 

Azriel laughs, but ignores her as he calls for Persephone, who dutifully follows him up the garden. Elain tries to push her hands against his back, but with the size of her compared to the size of him, the action is completely futile. 

He pushes through the door, back into the warmth of the house, and not a single one of their friends blink an eyelid at them. Nesta laughs, but rolls her eyes. After all, they’ve all been putting up with this behaviour for years.

Azriel drops her onto the couch, and promptly makes his way into the kitchen for a large glass of wine. 

“Grab me one!” Elain shouts from the couch.

xx

Much later, in the quiet, early hours of the morning, Elain is lying on the couch, her head in Azriel’s lap. Everyone else has been asleep for hours, and the two of them have been making up for lost time. 

“How long do you have?” Elain asks as Az absentmindedly runs a hand through her hair. Persephone is asleep on her stomach. 

He opens his eyes and looks down at her. 

“I need to talk to you about that, actually,” Azriel says, his face suddenly becoming more serious. 

Elain raises a soft eyebrow, more concerned than anything. 

“Okay, go ahead.”

“Uhhh -”

Azriel starts wringing his hands together - his notorious sign of stress. Elain reaches up and takes them within her own hands.

“Hey, Az, look at me.”

  
Those hazel eyes lock onto hers and Elain feels her heartbeat speed up. 

“It’s okay, you can tell me,” she reassures him.

“It hurt, El, how much I missed you. It physically pained me. And I couldn’t understand it.”

His brow wrinkles, and Elain feels an intense pang of sympathy for Az.

“For months on end, I would say things, and expect you to be there and respond. Or I’d hear a song, and it’d remind me of you. And none of this I understood. Of course - you’re my best friend, you always have been, and so I knew I’d miss you when I left, but not like that.”

“Az,” Elain starts, but he shakes his head softly, and looks down at her. 

“And then I realised something. It - it - I thought it would ruin everything, so I decided it would be easier for me to not come back. So I ran away. I stayed in the Illyrian mountains for longer than I needed too. And I’m sorry, but I had no idea - El. I had no idea what I was doing.”

There’s a tear running down his cheek now. It unerves Elain to see Azriel so emotionally unguarded, but it doesn’t make her uncomfortable by any means. She just has an overwhelming urge to help him, comfort him, like she feels his pain. 

She sits up, crosses her legs and turns to face him. Tears are catching in his dark lashes, and she reaches up and gently wipes them off with her thumb. 

Elain gently places her hands on either side of his head. This has always been their go-to positioning for offering comfort. For years.

“What’s the problem, Az? You need to tell me, and I can help you figure it out,” she says, “we can figure it out, together, okay?”

Azriel takes a deep breath. His eyes don't move from hers. 

“I need you not to leave.”

Elain shakes her head, “I won't leave.”

There’s a moment of silence. Then -

“I think I’m in love with you.”

Of everything Elain was expecting Azriel to say, that certainly wasn't up there. 

“Actually, I don’t think, I  _ know _ I’m in love with you.”

For a minute, she’s speechless. Her hands drop from the sides of his face. Azriel, as usual, seems to understand her silence. He takes her hands in her lap. He’s shaking slightly, but smiles weakly at her. 

“You can think about it. You have all the time in the world to think about it, El, I know I just dumped that on you -”

“I love you too,” Elain interrupts.

Azriel stops the ramble he’s about to go on. His whole face breaks into the warmest smile Elain has ever seen. It makes her feel like she’s floating. 

“You do?” he whispers, “you love me?”

Elain laughs softly, “I do, I love you, Azriel.”

Now Azriel’s laughing, and Elain thinks that if those are the only three words she has to say to get him to laugh like that, those are the only words she will quite happily say for the rest of her life. 

Az reaches over and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. 

“I love you, Elain Archeron, and you are extremely beautiful.”

The words make Elain feel warm all over. 

His eyes are flick from her eyes to her mouth and back up to her eyes. Elain raises an eyebrow at him, almost a challenge. 

Azriel doesn’t need any encouragement as he lowers his lips onto hers. 

It’s relaxed and slow and he tastes slightly like red wine. Everything about the kiss feels natural, as though they could’ve done this five years ago and skipped all the secrecy and pent up feelings. 

She smiles into the kiss, causing Azriel to chuckle. 

“What are you doing?” he asks, clearly entertained by her amusement. 

“Nothing,” she replies. 

She presses another kiss to his lips. Azriel runs a hand through her hair.

“I’m just happy.”

“Good,” he responds in between peppering kisses all over her face, “me too.”

  
  
  
  
  



End file.
